Ozzy Osbourne Declares: “If I’m Late, Bury Me with My Bloody Chair!”
By the Prince of Darkness Himself (Probably)
In a move that has left fans bewildered, amused, and somehow unsurprised, rock legend Ozzy Osbourne has announced that his favorite chair—a worn, leather recliner affectionately dubbed “The Throne”—will be going with him to the grave… but only if he’s late.
You read that right.
“If I don’t make it on time, just chuck me in the ground with the chair,” Ozzy reportedly told Sharon during a heated discussion about punctuality, rockstar schedules, and the sanctity of afternoon naps.
Let’s be honest—this isn’t even in the top ten strangest things Ozzy’s ever said, but it might be one of the most endearing.
A Throne Worthy of a Rock King
The chair in question isn’t just any old recliner. According to those close to the Osbourne household, it’s been Ozzy’s faithful companion for decades. It’s weathered world tours, rehab stints, reality TV, and countless cups of tea (yes, tea—he’s mellowed out a bit). The leather’s cracked, the cushion’s sunken, and it emits a faint scent of patchouli and backstage nostalgia.
“Ozzy spends more time in that chair than anywhere else,” says longtime friend and guitarist Zakk Wylde. “It’s like his command center. He writes lyrics in it, watches horror flicks in it, probably even plots world domination in it. Honestly, if they bury him in that chair, he might just rise again three days later, annoyed someone moved him.”
The Origin of the Statement
Sources say the declaration came after a mix-up that caused Ozzy to be late for a doctor’s appointment—something Sharon takes very seriously. Upon being lectured about keeping a schedule, Ozzy reportedly growled, “Well if I’m late again, just bury me with me bloody chair and be done with it.”
Naturally, Sharon rolled her eyes. But fans? They embraced it.
Within hours of the quote surfacing online, hashtags like #BuryTheThrone and #ChairOfDarkness started trending on social media. Fan art appeared featuring Ozzy in his chair surrounded by gothic candles, ravens, and fog, as if presiding over some mystical metal court. One particularly popular meme showed Ozzy in a flaming recliner sailing across the River Styx.
“I just thought it was hilarious,” said longtime fan Melanie Cordova from Birmingham (the UK one, not Alabama). “Only Ozzy could say something like that and have people actually want it to happen.”
Fans Are Already Planning the Funeral—Sort Of
Some corners of the internet have taken things a step further, imagining what Ozzy’s funeral might look like if his chair actually did come along. One popular Reddit thread detailed a “Chair Casket” that opens like a clamshell, revealing Ozzy seated with a remote in one hand and a bat-shaped mug in the other. Another fan mock-up turned the chair into a mobile monument, complete with flames, speakers, and a built-in fog machine.
“Ozzy deserves to go out in full Sabbath style,” wrote one user. “Put him in that chair, strap it to a Harley, and let it ride into Valhalla.”
To be fair, Ozzy’s been facing mortality head-on in recent years. He’s battled health issues including Parkinson’s, undergone multiple surgeries, and has been candid about how he’s preparing for the inevitable. But he’s also remained full of life, sharp wit, and the same irreverent humor that made him a legend.
“It’s not about being morbid,” Ozzy later clarified in an interview. “It’s about not taking yourself too bloody seriously. If you can’t laugh about the end, what’s the point? Besides, that chair’s seen more of me than anyone.”
Sharon’s Response? Classic.
When asked about the chair-burial comment, Sharon didn’t miss a beat.
“I swear to God, if he dies first, I will bury him with that chair. Just to shut him up in the afterlife.”
She paused, then added with a smirk, “But I’m taking the batteries out of the remote first.”
A Legacy Seated in Rock
Whether Ozzy’s actual burial involves leather cushions and reclining footrests remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure—he’s still rocking as only Ozzy can. Even when talking about the grave, he’s doing it with flair, personality, and a laugh that sounds like a haunted carnival ride creaking to life.
In a world of over-polished celebrities and carefully curated statements, Ozzy remains refreshingly unpredictable and gloriously unfiltered.
So here’s to The Prince of Darkness and his recliner throne—may they have many more years of naps, Netflix, and nonsense ahead.
But if he is late…
You know what to do.
